“Why Avoid Saying ‘This is My Foster Child’ When Introducing a New Child. Introducing a new child into your life, whether through fostering or adoption, marks a beautiful and transformative experience. It’s a time of growth, love, and the creation of lasting connections. However, the manner in which you introduce your newest family member can significantly impact their sense of belonging and self-esteem. In this blog post, we’ll delve into the reasons why it’s crucial to refrain from saying, ‘This is my foster child,’ when presenting a new child to your friends, family, and community. We’ll explore how this seemingly innocuous phrase can have profound implications for your child’s well-being and development.”
Foster Care Doesn’t Define Them:
- Keywords: Foster child, Define, Identity
- When you introduce a child as “my foster child,” you unintentionally emphasize their status in the foster care system. While fostering is a crucial aspect of their life journey, it doesn’t define their entire identity. By using this phrase, you risk reducing their sense of self-worth based on their placement status. Instead, introduce them as “Hi, this is X, they will be staying with us for awhile”.
Avoid Stigmatization:
- Keywords: empowerment, Narrative, Storytelling
- Every child has a unique life story that extends beyond their foster care experience. By focusing on their name and interests instead of their foster status, you empower them to shape their narrative and decide when and how to share their personal history.
- Most of these foster children have low self esteem. You may not mean to belittle them by calling them a “foster child”, but they shouldn’t be made to feel like a “Charity Case”.
Respect Their Privacy:
- Keywords: Privacy, Respect, Consent
- Some children may not want others to know about their foster care background, at least not immediately. By using respectful language, you allow them to decide when and how they share their story with others, preserving their privacy and autonomy.
- When you register the child for school or other activities, please do so quietly. You don’t have to announce who you are. I also get the teacher’s email address and send them a brief introduction about the child and a way to contact me if they’re having trouble in the class.
- Coming to a new school is hard enough. Please do not put the children in used clothing or shoes. It’s hard enough to be the “new kid”.
Promote Attachment and Bonding:
- Keywords: Attachment, Bonding, Trust
- A strong emotional bond is crucial for a child’s development. When you introduce them simply as “my child,” you reinforce a sense of security and trust that can lead to healthier attachment and bonding experiences.
Conclusion:
The words we choose when introducing a new child into our lives can have a lasting impact on their self-esteem, sense of belonging, and overall well-being. By avoiding the phrase “This is my foster child” and instead focusing on their name, interests, and unique qualities, we create an environment of love, acceptance, and inclusivity. Let’s prioritize the child’s emotional well-being and empower them to tell their own story on their terms. After all, it’s not about being a foster child; it’s about being a beloved member of your family.
